You can damn insult yourself, but do not dare plant that thought to anyone else.
“I know you despise me!”
That’s the sentence I have just heard today. The speaker was infuriated and incandescent with rage at another people – totally stranger although they’re neighbors – because of a little car accident. She did not stop complaining for ten minutes. I still heard her hysterical voice even I was in my room, urg. I could see that the stranger was totally confused that she was assailed by this unpleasant imprecations. How can you know that a stranger despise you? How can you know that someone hate you despite the fact that you both never talk to each other?
Not only this person, my colleague also met a maid who thought that other people had an utter contempt for her, so she treated my colleague slightly under etiquette of social awareness. What’s wrong with human nowadays?
How can you live if you think that everyone in the world hate you or look down on you? The maid thought that my colleague looked down on her because she earned the living by mopping floors. Since when cleaning is considered to be in lower hierarchy? What? About 70 years ago? Or in colonial period, when there had been that sickening slavery? Of course, there are kings, queens, leaders, presidents, those hierarchical standings and so-called social classes, but do you need to wear it on yourself, put it on your sleeve? Why don’t you get your status crown upon your inane head? To tell people how miserable you are so that they can offer you some commiserations? So, in this case, the maid felt her dignity was ruined and didn’t like my colleague. You see the relationship? Her dignity was bruised by herself. She impoverished her poor mind. It’s the absurdity of human I never understand.
You may suffer from your great sense of insecurity. I understand that. I, too, want to be accepted, of course! I’m not living on sole planet. I encounter people unavoidably and live among them. But what do you expect of? The tremendous adulation and admiration? I will say it again. You can damn insult yourself, but do not dare plant that thought to anyone else. It’s contagious. I consider it to be escalating crime.
I’d even experienced such ridiculous situation myself. I had known a guy and he was quite good-looking, for … himself. And since he and I had to cooperate with each other somehow, he had that hallucinatory idea that I liked him. I didn’t know what had I done to him to imaginatively think that way. And since I did not meet his standard of beauty (which was way too much for a guy looking like him), he didn’t think he wanted to like me and tried to avoid me. Gosh, we needed to work together sometime and he didn’t give me a hand at all. And I gained rage and loathing for him. So that’s that; he thought I liked him; he didn’t like me; I didn’t like him back. Damn, such an ugly theory. The awful linkage. Many guys around me were/are snobbish, smug, pompous, and overgrown self-esteem.
I’m always dumbstruck by how personal mind can lead people. “I think, therefore I am” is definitely true. Minds are no respecter of persons.